The Unconditioned Mind!

Since childhood, I have been told,

Be happy, stay happy till you grow old.

I was not introduced with all my emotions

‘Being Happy’ was the only notion.

As I grew old, I experienced all my shades

I disliked when I was angry,

Uncomfortable when I was jealous.

Thinking I was not being ‘human’.

Thus, the CONDITIONED me suppressed my own emotions,

Refrained from being my own self.

That ‘SELF’ was rotten and hurt.

Over the period of time,

New experiences blossomed into a NEW self

It made me mirror my own thoughts.

It had all the feelings it should,

It was angry, black, jealous and unhappy

Discontented, sorrowful and gloomy were few more to stay.

The mirror did not resemble a fairy princess

The way I was taught to become.

Uncomfortable I was

Restless and wondering where to go.

Contemplating on the same, I understood.

 I still had a choice

The choice to decide,

Either to ignore or to live my feelings

I pondered, reflected and realized,

Was it inhuman to have those NEGATIVE emotions?

Was it BAD to feel BAD!

I wanted to hook to them, I wanted to cry

I wanted to feel and cuddle the feelings  tight.

Those feelings had to be welcomed only once,

Accepted all the emotions with all my might

They stayed comfortable with me,

Just being on my side!

The self was contented.

Only then, did I create ways to heal myself

Free from the hurt I had,

This was a new journey for me,


Author: Upasana Kapur

In the teaching field from past 12 years, with each year adding to my learning curve. The love for the kids and aim to scaffold them to reach their zone of proximal development keeps me hooked to my profession. Each year, I have been involved in training my staff members and parents in areas like special education, response to intervention model and precision teaching; classroom management and devising an individualised plan for the child as per his/her needs. The success attained by the students gives me immense peace! I aim to have happy, chirpy kids around!

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